penitence
by clairebxrton
Summary: in the end, she had ruined his greatest experiments for sentimental thoughts / cross-posted from ao3. fem!sanji. canon au. part 2 of the shakedown series.


**Summary:** In the end, she had ruined his greatest experiments for sentimental thoughts

penitence;  
noun.  
1\. the state of being penitent; regret for ones wrongdoings or sinning; contrition; repentance.

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Did he regret it? he wondered as he paced the hallway, Big Mom's sentries staring at him. His daughter had asked him that when he had walked her to the dressing room and now Judge wondered, did he regret what he had done. While it was true he was effectively selling her to Big Mom in hopes of gaining the forces he needed to overtake the North Blue, he was also doing what many others – including that chef in the East Blue – could not; give her a life worth something. As a father, even one to such a dud, it was his job to find her a proper match that could also benefit his family and wants. His own sister had been given away to a royal family far from the North in hopes of giving her a proper life and they weren't even the royal family of the North Blue at the time, just high ranking nobles.

Sanju should be thankful he was even willing to allow this wedding; even if it was one that was a little unfair as Big Mom's son was a powerful devil fruit user with a high bounty and his daughter, despite her skills, was still a dud. As one with noble blood running through her veins, Judge knew he should be holding out for a true noble, not a pirate, but since she was the second daughter (a dud, a failure, a disappointment holding onto dead values from a dead woman who had caused her failure status), her partner could be lesser than her in status.

But that didn't change the blasted feeling in his stomach as he waited for her to be ready. He knew he would feel this when walking Reiju down the aisle; his eldest was truly his favorite with her obedient nature and her power that came from her devil fruit. Her wedding, if she ever had one, was one he was dreading. But for some reason, he dreaded walking Sanju down the aisle. Dreaded handing her over.

He assumed it was because she looked like his dearly beloved Sora and despite what he led many to believe, he still mourned the loss that her death had left him with. His wife had been the only joy in his life and their marriage had been something that had changed his life. But staring at Sanju, he could only see the worse of his beloved wife; her compassion, her weak constitution which Judge couldn't understand, Sora had been a marine, used to death and the overall injustice that was life, so why had she fought him so hard on what he had to do in order to get the perfect children?

Shaking his head, he paused in his pacing, standing to full height and breathing in. As king, tough decisions were ones he would have to make everyday and this was just going to be one of them. Sanju would marry the Charlotte son, love would eventually follow like it had for his sister and then he would rule the North like he was supposed to.

Eventually, maybe Sanju would drift back to her family and he would be able to use the new knowledge he had to fix what her mother broke. And he would be able to feel less ashamed of counting her as his daughter.

The door to the dressing room opened and he watched as she all but ran out of the room, launching herself to him and clutching his arm as if he was the only lifeline she had. It tugged at the emotions he had locked away. The ones that he had decided meant nothing when he had turned his children into war machines for his reign. Her hair swirled down her back in ringlets and he was reminded of the day he had married Sora.

It had been a whim; she had wished to be able to marry him before her supervisor came to get her and try and force her back to the marines and he wanted her as his wife before his father could try and decide his future. She wore her marine outfit but had tugged her hair out of the tight bun she normally kept it in, letting it fall in manufactured ringlets around her face. He could remember the emotions that had filled him when he had realized that he loved her…

Then again, those good emotions were overwhelmed by the emotions he had felt when she had argued with him, instead demanding that he listen to her just because she had been his queen when did she not get that she was no longer queen and wouldn't keep her status if she kept arguing with him? Did she not know that he could drag her downwards for arguing against him and his wishes and did she have to be so stubborn?

In the end, she had ruined his greatest experiments for sentimental thoughts.

Sanju's hand tightened on his arm as they made their way through the castle and up the gargantuan staircase. Her heels clacked and her breath trembled and he wondered if she truly thought he'd leave her be if she ran? Even if she was not of his and Sora's blood, of a bloodline as noble as his own, she was an experiment belonging to the Germa 66; dud or not, she was his to do with what he pleased.

"I don't want to do this," She whispered to him as they walked through the doorway and down the aisle.

He looked towards her, her face completely blank as she spoke and he could, he entertained for a second, take her and leave. He could set her free, tell her that her wrist cuffs were fakes, let her fight her way out, tell her where her captain was. He could do a lot, change the entire plan, kill Big Mom if he so pleased, but then where would that leave him? Five children, no throne, no future. A failed promise to Sora that he'd do right by her. A daughter who thought a pirate was a better father than he himself?

"You'll do what you're told." He said and it was then that Judge realized that he had the answer she had been looking for. He didn't, he couldn't feel bad for doing what he had done because in the end, it was all for this moment.

For the ability to wear the crown he so desperately wanted, for being able to make his children princes and princesses once again – of real land, not just a floating kingdom. For the ability to complete the dream his parents had held, and his grandparents had held before them.

From his spot at a table near the aisle, he watched as the priest spoke, a rush of joy taking over the bad feeling in his stomach. Finally, after all this, everything would be right.

Bang.

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